Preparing for your first divorce consultation
You do not need a perfect file before asking for divorce advice. You need the important dates, the documents you have and a clear account of the decisions requiring attention. Start with any immediate risk or court deadline, rather than the full history of the relationship.
Before the meeting
A first consultation should help you understand the decisions ahead and the information needed to advise you. Prepare a one-page chronology and a separate question list. Put any court date or response deadline at the top.
Keep the chronology separate from your questions. Record the marriage date and place, the broad living arrangements, any separation date and existing proceedings. Explain international connections or uncertainty about the marriage documents without trying to resolve the legal position yourself. Where you are unsure of a date, mark it as approximate. A disputed fact should be identified as disputed, not presented as something both people accept.
Documents and figures
Bring the marriage certificate, antenuptial contract if available, court papers, existing orders and any signed settlement or parenting agreement. Add a broad financial overview showing income, recurring expenditure, property, debts and retirement funds. You do not need to invent values for documents you cannot yet obtain. Mark uncertain figures clearly.
Group documents by purpose instead of sending a large, unexplained collection of screenshots. Put marriage documents together, court papers together and financial records together. Use legible copies, include attachments and retain the originals. A financial overview may list the home, bond, income, recurring expenses and retirement interests without attempting a settlement calculation. Identify the date of each value and whether it comes from a statement or an estimate.
The decisions you need help with
Explain what outcome you hope to achieve and what concerns you most. For example, you may need to remain near a child's school, understand a proposed home buyout or obtain a manageable interim budget. Specific practical concerns allow advice to focus on the decisions that affect you.
Turn a broad concern into a question the attorney can answer. For example, “I want to keep the house” may require discussion of occupation during the case, the bond, affordability and the proposed division of value. “I need help with the children” may concern school transport, an existing order, contact or a proposed move. Separate immediate practical arrangements from a final settlement. This does not mean the matters are legally unrelated; it helps identify what needs attention first.
Scope, fees and document reading
Ask about the attorney's proposed scope, fees, billing arrangements, document-reading time and likely next steps. Confirm whether the consultation alone establishes an ongoing mandate. If documents are extensive, ask which should be sent first and how they should be transmitted securely.
Confirm the appointment format and duration, the fee and any applicable tax, and the documents the attorney has agreed to read in advance. Sending documents does not establish that unlimited reading time is included in the appointment. Ask whether a written opinion, correspondence, drafting, negotiations or court work requires a separate instruction. Do not assume that paying for a consultation means that the firm has undertaken to run the case or attend the next hearing.
Keep the first enquiry brief
The firm may need enough information about the other party to check for conflicts before receiving a detailed history. Do not send identity documents, children's full details or financial records through a general public enquiry form unless the firm has directed you to an appropriate private channel.
Give your name, a safe contact method and a brief description of the help required. The firm may request limited information about the other party for conflict screening. Do not send a shared-folder link giving unrestricted access to an entire financial or family archive. If a device, address or account is shared, explain whether a call, subject line, attachment or voicemail could be seen by someone else. Ask for an appropriate document-transfer arrangement before sending sensitive records.
Leave with an agreed action list
After the meeting, keep a note of agreed actions, responsible people and deadlines. Ask for clarification if you do not understand an option. A consultation should leave you with a workable next step, even where the answer depends on further evidence.
A useful action list identifies the task, who will do it and when it must be done. It should distinguish advice still being considered from instructions the firm has accepted. For instance, obtaining a bond figure is different from instructing a conveyancer to transfer a property. Before leaving, clarify any deadline, outstanding document, further fee and next point of contact. Keep the appointment note with the relevant correspondence so that the next discussion starts from the same facts.
Related guides
Official information
Request a consultation
Contact the Family Law Department at Spence Attorneys. Keep the first enquiry brief and identify a safe way to contact you. Fees, scope and appointment arrangements are agreed before confirmation.
The button opens an email to natalie@spencelaw.co.za. It does not send automatically. Do not attach identity documents, children’s full details or financial records before conflict screening and an agreed private transfer arrangement.
General information, not advice on an individual matter. An enquiry is not an accepted instruction or confirmed appointment and does not protect a court deadline. This is not an emergency service.
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